My brain has been reeling the entire week. I’ve watched a hundred YouTube videos about building a conversion van. I’ve downloaded schematics for solar panel installation. I’ve printed out floor plans I like. I’ve contacted private sellers and dealerships searching for a Dodge Ram Promaster 2500 high roof van with 159 inch wheel base. I’ve laid in bed at night laying out in my head where I’d like the kitchen and the bed and the bathroom, and deciding what I really want and what I cannot live without in a van I’d build myself. And, I continued to look at “off the rack” Class B vans. I really don’t know which way I’ll go. Maybe neither. Perhaps an in between choice could work–buy a used van that has MOST of what I want and get someone to help me customize it.
I’ve come to the conclusion that once again I’m trying to make a decision without enough information, and trying to choose an option without knowing where or when or how that option could play out. I could go buy a van today. I have enough saved that I could actually purchase everything I wanted to put in the van as well. And then I’d have wiped out my savings and would once again be in debt. I don’t want to do that. I wouldn’t have enough money to pay someone to help me build what I want, and even if I did, I could end up with a van AND my commercial building AND debt. And I’d still not be able to go on the road because the building hasn’t sold yet. I’ve decided that I must wait. The next thing that must happen in this chain of events is to sell (or possibly lease?) my building. Once I have a firm offer, I can set the gears in motion. It does me no good to find a van now that I am not going to buy until my building sells. It could be a week and it could be a year before that happens. My dad would have called it putting the cart before the horse. I must’ve done that a lot as a kid because my dad said that to me often.
So patience seems to be my goal for the time being. It’s fine to watch videos and learn how to build my dream van. It’s fun to search occasionally for a cargo van to build my dream home in. But it is premature to take any action until the building sells. Now is a time of quiet meditation. Of patience. Of believing this will all happen in the right time/space/ sequence. I should be ready to go once the building sells, but I should not jump the gun and make rash decisions that will put me in debt without moving me much closer to getting on the road.
I’m here. I’m ready. I’m waiting for the Universe to make the next move.