“And I don’t know a soul who’s not been battered
I don’t have a friend who feels at ease
I don’t know a dream that’s not been shattered
Or driven to its knees
But it’s alright, we’re alright
For we lived so well so long
Still, when I think of the
Road we’re traveling on
I wonder what’s gone wrong
I can’t help it, I wonder what’s gone wrong.”
– Paul Simon
Soundtrack for a very sad Sunday Morning…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=06Gmp0Xvm1Q
Tuesday night I checked in on Steve Kornacki before going to bed. It did indeed look grim, but none of the swing states had been called. I hoped against hope that Kamala could pull it off. I didn’t sleep much. I awoke to the headlines about “President elect Trump.” My heart sank and my stomach churned. For me, the worst part was not that the orange felon won, but that he actually won the popular vote. By a LOT. That means women voted for him. Puerto Ricans voted for him. Probably some Haitians in Springfield OH voted for him. That reality is hard to swallow. I had accepted that Trump could be “installed’ as our next president by the corrupt supreme court, or by the equally disgusting house of representatives, but I never imagined he would win even the electoral college, let alone the popular vote. That means accepting the bitter reality that I am in the minority. The majority of Americans are racists, misogynists, homophobes, haters and just plain stupid. It wasn’t a fluke. This is who America is now.
I finally pulled myself together with these thoughts:
This too shall pass.
Trump will not last 4 years. He will either be killed, die from his bad health or wreak such havoc that even his republican allies will remove him or the rest of the planet will figure out a way to take him out. (I fantasize about Putin making him a cup of plutonium tea at some secret meeting.)
Of Course, that would mean JD would be president and he is in many ways, much worse than Trump because he is smart enough to know what he says is total bullshit. But if he lasts the remainder of the term, I can’t imagine he would be re-elected. (Realizing that a LOT of things I couldn’t imagine have come to pass.)
I had a lot of hate Wednesday morning. I hoped all the Latinos who voted for him would be the first ones rounded up and put in concentration camps until they were deported. I hoped all the women who voted for him would be the first to endure pregnancy complications with nowhere to turn. I hoped all the black men who voted for him would come to know his wrath and racism in short order. I hoped all the rich white men who thought they were getting a huge tax break are the first to suffer from his economic (lack of a) plan.
And then I turned to “What can I do?” I always come back to “Be kind.” It will be quite some time until (if ever) I can be kind to someone flying a Trump flag or having a Trump bumper sticker. But I can go out of my way to be kind to a homeless person, or a trans person, or any one of the many victims who will be targeted by this regime. I can manage to make this affect me very little, as long as they don’t take away my social security. The rest I can probably bear. I can move out of this populated camping area into Ehrenberg where I can be a mile from any other human being, and far from anyone flying a Trump flag. Grocery prices may be another issue, but I can figure that out. I have to keep believing “This too shall pass.”
### ### ###
I felt much better after moving. I’d scouted out several wide open spaces that held promise. I settled on one very close to a walking path and although I can still see probably 25 rigs from my site, all are at least a football field away, many partially hidden by shrubs and small trees and cacti, and none are flying the flag of the fascist cult leader. I met someone last night on a Quartzsite forum who asked me about The Magic Circle. He is a year out on his full-time van journey and has never been to Quartzsite before. We chatted by text for a long time and he is going to come by this afternoon to check out the place. It would be nice to have a friend nearby to go for walks and sometimes share meals.
I’m gradually letting go of the anger, disappointment, and mostly fear that many of us experienced this week. Not reading anything about what is going on politically has been very helpful. I’ve unplugged from not only politics, but this country. I lived my first year on the road as a citizen of the nomadic tribe. Most never brought up politics or religion. We were for all intents and purposes, our own nation. I’m moving back to that nation.
Right now, where I am, it is a strange nation. I’m close to a walking path, and naked people of all shapes and sizes (mostly xtra large) pass by. They all say something kind if I’m outside. If I’m inside with the doors open, they wave and smile pleasantly. I am in a large spot, shared with some grey foxes in a den nearby. The sunrises and sunsets are stunning.
Lessons From The Road: By Wednesday afternoon I was in sheer panic. Instead of letting it fester I thought about what I could do. Not very much. Can’t undo the election. Can’t change the fact that a lot more than half the country WANTS this misogynistic, racist, pussy-grabbing, convicted felon and reality show buffoon to control their fate. I realized I had to accept that this is America. This is what America has become. The asshole in the giant bus who parked too close to me and runs his generator and lets his dog run off leash put up a Trump flag on Tuesday morning. I couldn’t wait to say “I told you so” on Wednesday morning. Instead, HE told ME so. I will move down to a different part of this BLM land. I cannot stand to see him outside or be near his Trump flag flapping in the wind.
My friend Ginny always reminds me: Start where you are. Do what you can. It will be enough. I cannot change where we are as a country. So the next step is to do what I can. I am going to start by protecting myself, both physically and mentally. Moving away from the man flying the Trump flag was a start. I’ve decided to not read or listen to ANYTHING political for a very long time. I started to read NY Times headlines today. The pundits were going to explain to me why this happened. They are the same pundits who told me last week that it WOULDN’T happen. I didn’t read any of it. Instead I put on my massage music playlist…calming, new age, peaceful music. I sipped my coffee and then took a long walk to search out a new spot. I found several good choices. I have the luxury of moving far away from people, far away from Trumpsters. If I don’t hear or read about “ain’t it awful” I can look out at the vast desert and up at the starry sky and most of what is going on won’t affect me.