Chop Wood, Carry Water

I didn’t make a blog post last week. A little discouraged, a tad down, I was feeling helpless to move forward. I spent a lot of the week, looking at every option I could think of to get a tiny home on wheels NOW.  I looked at cargo vans, and tried to figure out if I could take out a loan and build what I wanted. It would be possible, but it would be a logistical nightmare.  I looked at the Roadtrek Zion, now on sale with a 6 year warranty from a dealership in Florida. I could go get it today, but I’d have a payment equal to my current mortgage. The whole point of this adventure started with me wanting to retire. If I go that far in debt, not only will I not be able to retire, but I will have to take on twice as many clients just to keep my head above water. And what is the point of having the van of my dreams if I’m too busy working to ever use it?  I looked at used vans, other kinds of RV’s (class C) and even schoolies.

And then I realized that I was trying to force something into existence that is not meant to be-at least not meant to be yet!  So I’ve backed off.  I keep going back to my original thought:  I Live Here.  So I decided to do the work that needs to be done not only here, but NOW!   I spent Thursday, Friday and Saturday cleaning up the outside of my property, painting the front of the building, and painting my steps to look like bricks.  I had a friend help with the landscaping, removing dead wildflowers and weeds, and planting mums to brighten the front of the building. If I want to go, I need someone to buy this building. If I want someone to buy this building, I need to get them inside to have a look around.  I’m hoping the improved curb appeal will be inviting enough to get some potential buyers to come in and take a look.

I’m still frustrated. I am ready to be on the road. I’ve learned in the past that there is a difference between being diligent in pursuing one’s goals, and trying to force a square peg into a round hole. It is sometimes hard for me to tell the difference, when I get so focused on getting what I want. I think this week I came to the realization that I can’t live in the future. I cannot take step #3 before finishing steps #1 and #2.  I still believe things will fall into place in the perfect time/space/and sequence. I’m not happy that it is taking longer than I want it to take, but I accept that this is a process and part of the lesson for me is to do the steps. No skipping any.

So I continue to look, shop online, and check out my many options. I’ll gather information so I’ll be ready to pounce when the time comes, but for now, my goal needs to be to do whatever I can to facilitate selling this building, work and make money, and figure out what my best options are for buying a van.  But most of all, I need to remember I Live Here, and do my best to enjoy and appreciate every minute.