Since returning from our trial run in the rented van, I’ve found myself quite antsy. I fidget. I pace. I walk around my big building and look for something to throw out or give away. I am ready to get on the road mentally, but for now at least, the Universe has different plans.
I think I fell into “The Van Life” easily because I’ve watched hundreds of YouTube videos about people living the life I aspire to live. I’ve watched tips on boon-docking, traveling with dogs, where to stop for free water, etc. When I actually went out in my rented van, the set up seemed familiar. I knew how to check how much batter power was left, how to see how full my tanks were, how to cook dinner in such a tiny space, etc. I’d watched. I’d practiced in my mind how it would be, and truthfully, it was very much like I had imagined, only better. Easier. I moved my mind into that lifestyle, and my body followed. Now my body has been pulled back into living in this huge building, going to work every day, dealing with bills I soon won’t have anymore (trash collection, Comcast, electricity, mortgage, etc.) and feeling like I should be somewhere else.
But nothing much can happen until I sell this building, and I think there is not much I can do to make that happen any faster. All I can do is wait, be patient and believe that it will all fall into place.
In the meantime, I am trying to stay on track, and imagining what my life will be like on the road. I’ve started rehearsing it. When I have down time between clients, I go outside, sit in a chair, close my eyes and just BE. I call Cosmo out and he’ll sit by me as I read, or daydream about what life holds for me once I no longer have this building to hold me down. I don’t try to reign in my mind, or convince it to stop being in that van life mind frame. Instead, I just let it continue to grow, be free, dream of camping in the middle of the desert in Arizona, or parking in a hidden spot in the Florida Keys. I daydream of my friends all over the country and how cool it will be to pull into their driveways and see some of them for the first time in decades. My mind has adjusted to that life. I see no sense in disrupting that transition. I just have to wait and trust that soon it will be time to go. I’ll get the green light and my body will be able to let go of my building, my work and all the things that are holding me here, and finally go and catch up with my head that is already out there living the life of freedom.