I had my auction last weekend. It went well. I did a lot of soul-searching as I watched items that I’ve had for many, many years be sold for next to nothing. I saw items that I had to save up to buy, be sold for $5. It was all OK. My goal was to be rid of it all, and I accomplished that. Months before the auction, I was having trouble putting stuff in the “to be sold” pile. I’d look at things and think how valuable they were. Weeks before, the pile was growing and I was getting less and less attached. By the morning of the auction, I felt no attachment to anything. Every item was just an obstacle–something between me and the freedom of being on the road. I realized how much these things were holding me back and I gladly watched people walk off with things I once thought I couldn’t live without.
So two big rooms of my 4500 square foot warehouse are now empty. I still have lots of items in my living quarters and in my massage business. I spent much of the day sorting again, this time for stuff to go in the dumpster, and other boxes to go to Goodwill. It is a slow process, but I’m making it happen.
I will put my building on the market on Monday, July 1. I have no idea what to expect. I could get an acceptable offer quickly and if so, I could be out of here and on the road in just 30 to 60 days. That scares me a little. Or, it could sit on the market for months and that will delay my getting my van and getting on the road. I think that scares me more. But no matter what, I have achieved an acceptance that this is a process that I can’t completely control. It will happen in its own time, space and sequence. I can only do so much. The rest is out of my hands. I have come to believe that the cardinal rules of van life will be 1) Be patient. 2) Don’t rush. 3) Don’t set deadlines. I guess now is as good a time as any to start obeying these new rules.
I make a point each day to go through a cupboard, or a storage closet, or one of my kitchen cupboards. I take out each item, and assess if I think I will truly need it, and if so, do I have a place for it in the van. Most of the time, even when I come across something nostalgic, I think “Will I need this to live once I’m in the van? The answer is almost always “Nope!” I find old photos, or an item with sentimental value. I know I won’t need it to live, but I feel an attachment to it. And then I think “When was the last time you even SAW this?” Usually when I packed it up from the last place I lived. I saw it, thought I loved it, felt the emotional tug, then repacked it, moved it and stored it some more. Some of those things I will give to someone who will understand the emotional attachment, or the sentimental value. I’ll give it to someone if they will use it. But most of the stuff, like old newspaper clippings of past business ventures, or photos of dogs, now dead for many years have no real value. I can just let them go. And I do, because I really start to see them as obstacles in the way of my getting out of here and hitting the road.
So wish me luck. I’m hoping the building will sell quickly. I’ll really have to hustle to get packed up and get the place fully cleared out, but I can do that. I’d love to be on the road by the fall.