I’ve been feeling pretty stuck this week. I seem to be in a holding pattern. I am (I think) mentally ready to sell this place, buy my van and get on the road. I’m waiting for some paperwork before putting my building on the market, and it doesn’t seem there is much I can do except wait. I can’t put my building on the market without it, and I can’t buy my van until I sell this building, and I can’t start my “Van Adventure” without my van! So I wait. I continue to do small things. I clean out cupboards, and move stuff from hidden locations to piles out in the open. I guess that’s progress, but it looks like the opposite, as I stack stuff up around my living area either to be sold at auction, or to be given to family and friends. It seems counter-productive to drag any more stuff into the already piled-high rooms designated to hold auction items.
I keep reading books about van life, and watching YouTube videos about the pros and cons of different makes and models. All this is progress toward my final goal, but it is also frustrating, like looking at all the delicious flavors at Baskin Robins and knowing I’m not going to be eating any of them today. I’m anxious to go, and yet there is nothing I can do right now but wait.
I am going next week to look at different makes and models of Class B Vans at a dealership in Pennsylvania. Even though I’m not ready to purchase, I do want to “try a few on for size” and gather information, and move closer to deciding which one I want and what features I can and cannot live without. It is a small step, but certainly an important one. And it will bring me one step closer to my end goal.
So I’ve decided that this is a good time to practice my “Primary Directive” for retirement. My goal is to slow down, to minimize deadlines, stop and smell the roses along the way. In short, I want my life to be easier and less hectic. Once I get on the road, I don’t want to be rushing to get to my next destination. I don’t want to be constantly looking at my watch to determine if it’s time for breakfast or time to go to bed. I also want to learn patience. I’ll get there when I get there. And this is a good time to practice that patience. The building will sell and I’ll buy my van when everything lines up. I’ll do what I can to facilitate that happening, but I don’t need to force things. I just need to trust that it is in process, and I’ll reach my goal.