I had a very enjoyable two days at a campground in a National Forest near Mt. Shasta. With my “America the Beautiful” senior pass, I got the spot for half price, so it was just $5 a night to stay there. There were only 14 sites, and they were well spaced with lots of trees and bushes separating us. I couldn’t see people in adjacent sites at all (I’m not sure there were any campers in adjacent sites.) There was a full moon while I was there and that just added to the good vibe. I did have conversations with two campers over the days I was there. That was good enough for me to get my “people fix” before moving closer to Mt. Shasta on BLM land.
When I pulled into the Sand Flats at the base of Mt. Shasta on Sunday morning, there were a circle of cars on a nearby hill, close enough to see, but far enough to still feel alone and have lots of privacy. They left in the afternoon and I was once again, totally alone in a massive, majestic forest. The temperature dropped drastically, and the prediction was for freezing temps some nights during the week. I wasn’t going to stay long enough to freeze, so I could enjoy the coolness and even the cold nights.
When I got settled, I switched my solar generator from DC to AC. I heard a pop. My heart sank. No AC power. I checked the fuse and pressed several reset buttons. Nothing. I felt an incredible sadness sweep over me to be without electricity, but mostly thinking of what it would take to get electricity back. I would almost certainly have to ship the unit off to Idaho to the people who built it. They only do FedEX. Where would I go to ship it? Where would I have it shipped TO after they fixed it? How long would I be without power? Then I calmed myself down, realized that only my microwave and laptop need AC power (and first chance I get, I’m going to get a DC charger for my laptop.) I have a generator, built into the van. It sounds like a lawnmower and I hate to run it, but I’m in the middle of nowhere, so only the squirrels (and Cosmo) will be annoyed by the noise. I can run it long enough to charge my laptop or to cook a frozen meal in the microwave. Everything else can run off the coach battery. I put a “ticket” in with the solar company and hope to hear back from them quickly. I suspect I’ll have to ship it to them, so I looked online, and the closest FedEx shipping place is (wait for it) just 15 minutes from this forest in Shasta. I can probably ship it out in the morning. It took 3 days to get to them from Delaware, but I’m much closer to southern Idaho now, so I suspect it will be much quicker. Last two times I had issues they fixed it the day they received it and shipped it back to me the next day. It’s definitely an inconvenience. I have grown accustomed to having power at my fingertips, free, from the sun. But hey. I live in a VAN. I can deal with this for a few days.
It was cold and quite cloudy overnight. I slept with only the front window open and got up and closed it overnight when I was awakened by rain on the roof. It was cloudy and cool during the day and it sure has a very autumnal feel about it. It’s a nice break from the extreme heat.
I spent the better part of two days trying to get in touch with the people who built my Solar System. I bought it from a distributor a year and a half ago, but it shipped through the manufacturer. I stopped this summer and last summer to have it cleaned and maintenance by the guy who built it (manufacturer) when I went through Idaho. He has a large garage where he and a couple other guys build them. They know me. I’ve talked to them a half dozen times by phone and stopped to see them twice. Yet when I call or e-mail, they want me to go through the distributor (who knows very little about the system’s maintenance–just enough to sell one). I did. They sent me a form to fill out, with stupid things like “Did you make sure it’s plugged in? Did you try turning it off and on again?” And the questions continued until they were far over my head (“Are your panels connected in parallel or serial?” And “What is the actual VOC?”) I sent back the form and he submitted a ticket to the manufacturer who finally sent me an e-mail and then called me the following day. At any rate, it has to be shipped back to Idaho for them to replace a capacitor. I couldn’t believe my luck that there was a FedEx store just 15 minutes away, in the direction I was heading (south). I dropped it off there that same morning and they packed it up and sent it off to Idaho.
I feel a bit crippled without having AC power (unless I use my generator, which sounds like a leaf blower. When I turn it on, Cosmo runs and hides and whimpers until I turn it off.). The AC runs my microwave, my Google Mini (I can’t tell you how often I’ve shouted “Hey Google, What time is it?” Or “Hey Google, What’s the weather at Mt. Shasta?” Only to be rewarded with dead silence. How dependent I’ve gotten on that little disc. The only real issue is that I don’t have a DC charger for my laptop. I can use it until it goes dead, then I must plug it in and turn on the generator. It is way too loud in the back of the van to actually USE the laptop while the generator is running, so I usually leave, take Cosmo for a walk, let the laptop build up a charge, and come back and turn the generator off and then use the laptop.
I remembered this afternoon that I have an old iPad. I got it out of storage, and it charges on DC so I plugged it into the cigarette lighter (I don’t think they call them that anymore, but you know what I mean) and charged it via a USB cable. I got out my tiny Bluetooth keyboard, and that’s what I’m using to type this. No AC electricity needed. I’ll limp along until I get my solar unit back or until I get someplace where I can plug in and fully charge my laptop up again.
After dropping off at FedEx, I drove south to Lake Castle. There is a “campground” with no amenities. There are 6 spots and the sign says you may not camp except in designated spots. The “loop” where the campsites are is a terrible road; it is bumpy, rutted, has lots of big rocks and relatively deep holes. I’m getting used to that (I’m not sure my van likes it). I found a spot and got settled in. There was supposed to be a lake or a stream adjacent to the campground. Cosmo and I walked down a hill behind our site, and I could see what looked like rocks and a stream. We got down there. Lots of rocks where the stream used to be before it dried up. I was so disappointed. I went back inside and made a PB&J sandwich. While I was eating it outside at my picnic table, a man walked by and looked at my “check in form” (even though you don’t pay, they ask you to register and hang a tag on your spot marker) and then shouted, “You are from Delaware?” I answered in the affirmative and he said, “West Chester here.” I always laugh at that, like, because we are from the same region, we have SO much in common! But he told me he was just coming back from the lake. “LAKE” I shouted. “Is it far? Does it actually have water in it? Can you really get in it without being poisoned?” He told me it was just a quarter mile up the road, was crystal clear, and pristine. He also said it was quite a comfortable temperature for swimming. That was good enough for me. Cosmo and I walked up the road and turned at the “Lake Castle Day Use” sign. We could see the lake from the road and after going down a short path, we arrived at the shore. I got in, and with some coaxing, so did Cosmo. It was delightful. I didn’t think ahead to bring soap but went back the next morning and took a biodegradable bar of Dr. Squatch (his soap is almost as good as what I used to make. Almost!) There were few people around, but I took a discreet bath, with my swim trunks on.
The campsite itself was idyllic and Cosmo loved it.
I’d have stayed a week, except, once again, no internet and no cell service. Because my mom is not doing well at all, and I need to keep in touch with my sister, I left the next morning.
I drove south to a real campground that had full hook-ups. I was able to top off my water, plug into electricity, re-charge my laptop and take a long, hot shower. The campground was cheap, and a bit run down, but surrounded (once again) by National Forest (Shasta-Trinity National Forest, I believe.) The owner is a very nice gentleman from South Africa. The campground was nearly empty as it is apparently the end of the season. The owner said he would be closing in a week or so for the winter. It’s quiet, and Cosmo and I walked in the forest a few times.
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When we left there, I think we must have fallen into a black hole. A VERY deep black hole. We went to our next destination which was The Olive Pit parking lot. It had good reviews, and since there was no BLM land or National Forests, or even paid campgrounds where we could make it by the afternoon, this was our option. The Olive Pit store was amazing; so many different kinds of olives, stuffed with everything from sun dried tomatoes to garlic, to almonds. They had a tiny snack bar, and I had a delicious veggie burger with all the “fixin’s.” The parking lot was extremely noisy with a drive through car wash on one side and a 24 hour convenience mart on the other. An old couple pulled in next to me, even though there were dozens of pull-through RV spots surrounding us. They turned on their generator and left to go inside the store. I thought about leaving, but instead, I got leveled up (well, close…the parking lot was pretty unlevel, even more so than being in a forest, so I was still a little off kilter). And then I tried to light my propane fridge. And I tried and I tried to no avail. I could have run it on electricity (AC or DC for a night) but, my solar generator was currently in Weston, ID being repaired. Between the noise and fridge not working, I decided to move. Maybe a drive to a more level spot would cure my fridge issues. I drove three miles down the road to a casino parking lot. Much quieter. Easy to level up. Fridge still wouldn’t work. I tried it off and on all evening with no luck. I decided I’d have to find an RV repair place (I’m suspecting it is something simple, since the fridge is only a month old—probably “operator error.”) I got on my phone to search google and it said “you are no longer connected to the internet.” I tried my iPad. Same response. I rebooted my Wi-Fi and my phone. I had 5 bars of service on both, yet neither was working. WTF? So I went inside and bought a bag of ice. I came out and figured I’d leave early in the morning. But where to? I had a spot picked out, and GPS coordinates. But I use Google Maps on my phone for route directions. So not only did I not know how to get to my next place, but I also wasn’t even sure I could find my way back to I-5. Maybe I could find a Verizon store and see if someone there could resolve either my phone or Verizon Internet issues. Oh. Right. I couldn’t look up where a Verizon store WAS without my phone and internet working. I went to bed wondering how I’d go forward with no electricity, no fridge, no phone, no internet…no way to connect with the world, no way to figure out where I am or where to go. I’m not sure how I slept at all, but I did. By morning I had cell service and internet again. I suspect there must have been a Verizon issue in the area, perhaps caused by one of the fires nearby. (This world is surely going to hell in a handbasket…from what I can see, a pretty beaten up, rotting handbasket.)
When I woke up in the morning my sister called as I was making coffee. My mom was non-responsive, and her breathing was erratic. My mom’s caretaker called Ann and said she could come back over (my sister had spent the night and my mom was sleeping peacefully when she left for work). There was a serious dark cloud hanging over me. I took a deep breath. What could I do? Not a lot. The fridge still wouldn’t light. But while I had phone and internet, I decided to re-route and find a campground where I could plug into electricity. It took 10 phone calls. Many of the campgrounds listed had their phones disconnected, or a wrong number listed, or they didn’t answer, or their voice mailbox was full. How do people stay in business if they can’t even list a real phone number or website?) I finally got hold of a very nice man at one of the State Parks. He said they had plenty of spots with electricity open for the night. I wasn’t sure that was a good sign. Some of the other parks I reached were either full, or they only rented by the month. I decided to go check it out. There was a young Asian man and an older man (my age) working in the booth. They seemed glad to have someone to talk to and we chatted for a while as they got me checked in. Then they suggested that instead of them assigning a campsite, I should go through the park, and pick what I liked the best. I did. As best as I can tell, there was only one other camper in the entire park. I guess they start to shut down after Labor Day. The other camper was in a tent down the hill (tents are separated from RV section). He has white hair and a beard, both longer than mine. I plugged into the electricity and got my fridge running again. I have phone and internet service, but just barely. I have come to believe that the U.S. is definitely a third world country.
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My sister called me on Friday night. I knew when I saw her name come up on the caller ID what the call was about. My mom had been going downhill rapidly this week, and had stopped eating, wouldn’t (or couldn’t) open her eyes. She had been quite agitated some days, calling out for her sister who died many years ago, and telling my sister she wanted to go home. I answered the phone, and my sister was choked up when she told me that my mom had died. I cried a little at the finality of it, but mostly I was relieved. She had a very poor quality of life for the past year and each month, it got worse. She was quite unhappy this last week saying she was ready, and why had god taken all her friends and much of her family and left her behind. I was thankful she was finally at peace. She had been taken from me a piece at a time for the past several years, losing her eyesight, then her short term memory. It was impossible to have a conversation with her, because 5 seconds after I finished answering a question, she would ask it again. I got my sense of humor from my father, so my mom and I connected with that for many of my adult years, but for the past year, I’d make a joke (even sometimes a very GOOD joke,) and she’d just look blankly at me. For several years now I’ve missed the nurturing, caring mother I had when I was young, and the friend she became to me as an adult. I was surprised how much the finality of knowing I’d never talk with her again affected me. I am glad she is no longer suffering.
This is my favorite picture of her. This is one of the last times we got together when she was fully herself. We were at my sister’s, either on Easter or maybe Mother’s day. I explained to her what a “selfie” was, and that we were going to do one. I can’t remember the conversation, but I know I made her laugh until her teeth almost fell out. This picture, for whatever reason reminds me of a carnival ride, and for sure, life with my mom often seemed like a carnival ride. I am lucky to have had so many good years, and so many fun times with such an amazing woman.
My sister was power of attorney, and so she has been the one to deal with all the difficult stuff for the past couple years. I, of course, have been traveling, and even though I’d check in with her as often as possible, I was not physically there to help. My other two brothers spent their time criticizing how my sister handled things, but never would step up to help. They were good at barking orders, but when my sister would say “Well if you have a better way, please jump in.” They’d always say “Oh no! YOU are POA. You wanted to be in charge, so deal with it.” (My sister did NOT want to be in charge. That was a burden assigned to her by my mother when she was young and thought she’d live forever (She would have been 93 next month, so she almost made it). Now Ann’s job is done. She did it well, and was there when my mom drew her last breath. Now the other brothers got their wish to be the bosses. They are co-executers of the will. I don’t think they like each other any more than my sister and I like them. We’ll see how that goes.
Lessons From The Road: I am much stronger and much more adaptable than I give myself credit for. When something goes wrong, or even sometimes when I think something might go wrong, my go-to emotion is panic. I’ve apparently changed that. I do much better switching from drama mode to how-do-I-fix-this? mode. And I almost always get the problem resolved, and so far I’ve survived everything life has thrown at me. When I was preparing to move into a van, I remember going through my embarrassing excess of kitchen gadgets. How was I going to live without my air fryer? What would I do without my food dehydrator? These were things I used often. Now, the thought of not being able to live without them seems so Bourgeoisie. Almost two years since buying the van, I find I live quite nicely without so many of the entrapments I thought I must have in order to survive. Now I find that even electricity is a luxury and not a necessity. It is inconvenient to live without it, but it is not life threatening. I adjust.
Since I’m so often without internet I’ve been reading a lot more. I got the book 2001: A Space Odyssey. That has always been one of my favorite films and I read the book in the early ’70’s. I decided I needed to read it again. For those of you who are too young to know the story, or have forgotten, the film and book start out with “The Dawn of Man.” A group of ape/men are living in a cave, starving from lack of food (they are gatherers, who haven’t learned to hunt yet…not a very nice shout out to us vegetarians). They are losing family and friends weekly to a local leopard who comes and eats the weakest among them, and they just sort of accept that as their lot in life. Anyway, one day this giant, black Monolith appears out of nowhere, and when they touch it, it sends out a signal that transforms them. It’s the next step of evolution, or at least a speeding up of the learning process. The main ape/man (whose name is Moon Watcher, because at night he gazes at the moon, strokes his chin, and you can see the gears turning in his tiny little ape brain. He’s fascinated by the moon and how everything works in life) is playing with a rib from some wildebeest or something and it occurs to him that he could smash things with it. Later that night when the leopard comes, he and his cave-mates all have bones, and they smash the skull of the leopard, and eat him. (Ah! Eating meat and learning to kill take him from ape to human. I’m not sure we’ve progressed much past that in several million years, but I digress…). Several nights, as I sat outside looking up at the moon, I couldn’t help but think about poor ol’ Moon Watcher. I sure can relate to him, especially when I’m without electricity, and have no Google, no microwave, no cell service or Internet and no working fridge. In the middle of the forest, alone, I do often feel like a caveman. A year ago, if I had no electricity or Internet, I think I would have cried and checked into a campground that allowed me to plug in to both electricity and Wi-Fi, or maybe even gotten a cheap motel room. Now, it’s just a minor adjustment to read instead of watch YouTube. I’ve learned to be content with just the sounds and smell of the forest, and to be able to look up at the stars and feel like I know my place in the Universe. Yup. Some days I’m George Jetson, some days I’m Wilma Flintstone. And I adjust. And I’m in a forest, by a lake. No leopards trying to eat me. So really, how rough is my life?
That’s all I’ve got for now.
Love you like a dog.
See you down the road!
Scott